last hug

i remember seating on a white mono-block chair, in a semi-circle with a group of people who i don’t recognize. we were inside a church or somewhere else with the same ambience. we sat quietly… until someone came in the room.

he was familiar. but everything was vague… his features were vague. he was wearing a white shirt, white shorts, and brown leather sandals.

suddenly, my sister was there (or maybe she’s been there the whole time and i just didn’t notice). the man who just entered the chapel gave her a pair of sandals. my sister cried.

then he came to me. silence filled the place, even the air was still for a moment.

he embraced me. so tight that though i didn’t know what to do at first, i knew embracing him back as tight would be the right thing to do. we both cried.

everything faded. i was freezing cold as i woke-up from the dream.

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we all had the same dream, except with different endings.

my sister, accepting the pair of sandals.

me returning the hug.

my brother, seeing him just walk around the chapel and showing everyone he was still alive. his passing away just a bad dream.

that dream was the first ‘paramdam‘ we all had from our dad. he’s been gone for 3 years… tomorrow.

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now i understand why i’ve been uberly jaded lately.  i’m always more depressed this time of year.

i miss you daddy… we love you! R.I.P.