ito yun, e.

“What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Choke

i would like to take this opportunity to…

BLOG!

hahahahahahahaha

grabe, uber tagal ko nang di nakakapagblog. kaloka! kaya siguro nasisiraan na ko ng ulo kasi di na ko makapaglabas ng sama ng loob. CHOS!

wala ang karamihan sa mga utaw sa opis ngayon kaya tahimik. ang chief at ang dalawa sa kanyang alipores ay nangibang bayan ang saya saya!!! walang typhoon ng job bags today! tapos, nagbakasyon na ang sup ko [kasi manganganak] at sumabay pa magSL kuno si PSF [pang sai face. pang sai means 'shit' by the way ]

ano na nga bang mga nangyari sa ‘kin mula nang huli akong bumisita dito at nag-iwan ng bakas? hmmm… sobrang dami na. parang di ko na kayang i-kwento lahat. so yung mga natatandaan ko na lang, tutal dedma din naman kayo. hahaha!!!

well, una, di na naman ako uuwi ngayon Pasko. kasi bawal daw ako umuwi. nakalagay daw yun sa passport ko. ayun yung itinatak nung pumasok ako ng Singapore. imbis na “the holder of this travel document is permitted to stay in Singapore for 30 days”, sabi, “you are no longer permitted to go back to your country of origin as long as you are under an employment contract with an advertising/design/or any creative agency”. hahahahahahahaha!!! hay… i feel so fucking trapped. putangina kasi si PSF.

ganito, winner na nga kasi etong pinapasukan ko. and i was so happy and bursting with fruit flavors until PSF came. naging shithole uli yung buhay ko dahil sa kanya. as in. ihatehim!!! imbis na nakaplano na ko magbakasyon ng Nov, dahil di nga ko pwede mag-leave netong Dec, hindi ako natuloy dahil sa kakapakshet nya. 2 months akong praning, walang self-esteem [oo, as in ZERO], at halos ma-tae habang nagpuproofread dahil sa kanya. grr! anyway, the week before last week, dumating naman ang balitang ok pa ko. hay… but then it’s too late to file for a VL para sa Pasko kasi pakshet ang mahal na ng ticket!!! oh well… tas nung nagpaalam ako magleave ng Chinez new year, di rin pumayag si PSF so bahala na. leche!

sorry naman kung ayun agad ang binungad ko.  ngayon na nga lang ako nag-blog nakakaimbyerna pa, no? but then, most of what happened to me the past few months is related to dealing with that goddamned asshole. kaya.

moving on…

gusto ko umuwi dahil sa batang ‘to:

ooops… sleep pala sya nyan.  eto na lang;

ayan si Cholo [or Toto], ang bunsoy ng ate ko na kamukha ko daw hahaha!!!

nung umalis ako mga kaka-two lang nya, magfo-4 na sya sa May. i doubt he has any memory of me, pero ang sweet sweet nya. nung huling tawag ko sa bahay sabi, “anong laro mo dyan?” kako wala. sabi ba naman, “e umuwi ka na. ang tagal-tagal mo, e.  miss na kita talaga.” may “talaga” pa, e.

ang sweet!!! *gigil*

ayan. wala na kong favorite. lahat na sila favorite ko [labo]. maski nagpapabili ng mp3 si Bien. wahahaha!!!

isa pa, si Toto ang patunay na maski di nila sabihin, miss na ko ng mga kapatid ko. HUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! i bet they can’t stop talking about me tuwing nagsasalo-salo for lunch ng weekends or pag nakatambay sila sa may garahe.

i’m loved

sa iba pang balita, i got to see the following films last week. and they’re all  a-ok go, punta na sa Ruins for copies

nakakaloka si Dora. she reminded me of Ate Shawie

nakakaaliw ‘to. Chelly, you will love this! at ang ganda rin ng soundtrack.

then last night, i saw this.

masaya sya. go watch! ang galing ng animation tas ang cute ni Ash. wahahahahahaha!!!

sorry wala pa rin ako kwenta magbigay ng review. wala akong plano pag-aralan kung paano magsulat nun ngayon dahil kailangan ko mag-aral magsulat ng classified ads sana ma-perfect ko na. ahahaha!!!

bullets, bullets, bullets!

at nagbirthday nga pala ko! hahahahaha shet ang tanda ko na!!! OMG talaga.

my SG family surprised me and it really made my day [kasi wa talga ko sa mood at depress-depressan nung mga panahon na yun]. eto, silip kayo;

hindi 'to acting. promise! XD

“]

me as flower face with the beautiful ladies of the shala house

i-plano ko na daw ang buhay ko

at dahil ang misyon ni Mingming ay pa-iyakin ako tuwing bday ko... ayan.

another year survived

hay… tara, pagtawanan na lang natin ang mga pakshet sa buhay this too shall pass sabi nga nila. makakapag-ipon rin ako ng lakas para mai-flush si PSF [pero gusto ko muna sya supalpalin before totally getting rid of him] para makauwi for a vacay by Toto’s bday. *GIGIL*

Chelot Belan is

thinking

of home.

gusto ko lang mag-

WEEEEEEEE!!!

last day ko na sa hawlalu ni G. Baba   at sa Lunes, simula na ng bagong career! weee! weeee!!!

YAY YAY YAY!!! XD hahaha.

“Hello, Advertising.  I missed you…” hahaha!!!

ang saya-saya!

mukhang mabait yung magiging sup ko, tsaka deretso ang English nya   tsaka tiyak na marami akong bagong matututuhan (kasi more editing, more fun din sya aside from copywriting).  YAY! totoong trabaho na ‘to. hahahaha   di na ko mag-o-over facebooking    mababawasan din ang pagyoyosi ko, kasi bawal magyosi ng office hours.  hahahahaha!  makakatipid na ko lalo.  SHETTTT

tapos, 9-530 lang ang office hours!  di daw sila madalas mag-OT (na mukhang totoo naman kasi kapitbahay namin si admin at mukhang maaga siyang nakakauwi lagi)  di na ko late magdidinner! matutunaw na nang maayos ang pagkain ko!  tas kapag feel ko, keri din maglakad pauwi!  wee!!!  papayat na ko!!!

ASA.

at, at, at!!! ang lapit lapit na ng opis ko sa house of shala!  di na ko mapapakshet sa paghihintay ng BS 197 (na umaabot ng 25-30 minutes kadalasan), sa pagtatap-up ng higit $80 sa ez-link ko per month at sa paghihintay na makaupo ang mga lolo’t lola dahil nagti-trip to jerusalem sila sa loob ng bus.  waaaaaahhhh!!! hahahahaha!  yeeeehaaaaahhhh…

weeeeee, talaga! wee!!!

ayun lang

ang totoo…

marami akong gustong ikwento, pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa’yo.

emo.

magdadraft ako ng something mamayang gabi, kapag hindi ako makatulog… kapag hindi ako pagod na pagod.  ewan ko ba.  nitong mga nakaraan kasi parang patang-pata ako pagdating ng hapon.  antok na antok ako sa bus papuntang China Town mula Geylang.  Laging napapatulala sa bus stop sa kanto ng Upper Cross St. at New Bridge Rd.  i-google map mo ang mga nasabi kong lugar para makita mo kung nasaan ako mamayang 745-815pm.  baka may live cam.  nakablue jeans at beige top ako.  nakatingin sa malayo.

basta.  bahala na kung kelan ko maila-lathala dito.  baka sa lunes,  late next week, o hindi ever.  malay mo, malay ko, malay nating lahat… 

teka, nandiyan ka pa ba?

hello? yes?!

this past week, dalawang beses nag-appear ang “writer chelot” sa Search Engine terms chu ng dashboard ko.   naka-ilang beses din nag-appear ang ‘diwanglaya’ at ‘chelot’.  pero, maski hindi lang naman ako ang chelot sa buong mundo, i have an idea who this person is.  kasi kanina, may nagclick ng particular category (hindi ko na sasabihin kung ano) and browsed through its entire content.

ang masasabi ko lang ay…

hahahahaha!!!

kung ikaw ang babaeng kuto, puwede ba, huwag ka nang mainsecure dahil wala kang magagawa, mas-exciting talaga ang buhay ko kesa sa buhay mo.  isa pa, KEBS na ko sa’yo/inyo!  at kapag nilabel ko nang friend, friend na lang talaga yun.  HELLO?!! move on!

but h’well, if i’m wrong, magpakilala ka naman, friend.

some things i shouldn’t say

it’s hard when you think of something and just can’t say it.  this may be the worst thing you’ll hear from me, ever.   i mean, i know that i can be really mean, specially when i talk about people i despise (well because they deserve it.  i believe i’m entitled to hate them because they’re more evil than i am. haha), but this is just not right.  but i can’t stop thinking about it.  i have to spit it out…

argh!!!

i’m starting to hate old people

those who are in their late 60’s, 70’s who keep wandering around.  because every morning, i have to ride the bus to work, and travelling time usually takes more than 45minutes instead of just 30 because of them.

they booooarrrrrrrrrrrdd… ask the driver, “chekwa, chekwa, chekwa, chekwa, chekwa…” directions to this and that and “where is this bus going again?  where again? where? again, where ah?” and “chekwa, chekwa, chekwa,chekwa…” then they find, search, look, dig around or walk around in circles (like they were playing Trip to Jerusalem) for a seat.  then they,”SIGHHHH…” too loud and heavy as if they’re exhaling grains of earth.

after that, they cough their lungs out without covering their mouth or sneeze (more like spit on your face, because they don’t bother covering their noses too), and relax inappropriately.  as in, way. too. much.

earlier today, i was sitting across an uncle who, after seating himself, put his feet up the seats in front of him, and slouched like a sloth while excavating something monstrous out of his nostril.  kaloka!!! when i looked at him, he looked back nonchalantly as if saying, “what’s wrong, mah?”

if i could, i would’ve told him off, “is this an extension of your flat?  are you going to wipe those seats with anti-bacterial wet towels before you get off the bus?  if you don’t mind, can you please put your booger back up your nose or just eat it if you want,” or, “are you the swine flu personified?”

but this isn’t my territory, wattt?  cannot tell of a highlander, no.

why can’t these people just stay home?!  haven’t they been around the streets for quite a long time now?

i’m so evil.  pero kasi, e!!!

———-

i’m waiting for something to happen.

let’s channel it, shall we?

i just have to have this new ***

———-

i guess that’s it, for now.

Runaway train

eto naman ang narinig ko kanina papuntang banyo.

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn’t even sleep
So many secrets I couldn’t keep
Promised myself I wouldn’t weep
One more promise I couldn’t keep

It seems no one can help me now
I’m in too deep
There’s no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here no there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life’s mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin’ in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don’t believe it

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here no there

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin’ at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin’ back
Runaway train tearin’ up the track
Runaway train burnin’ in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

———-

gusto ko maging runaway train, pero bago ‘yun, meron muna akong mga sasapakin.

scary

some scary things that happened to me/i realised recently;

1. almost got struck by lightning yesterday.

i was waiting for BS 197 yesterday morning at the stop before Outram station (at about 920 am), when there was this flash of bright light that hit the pavement about 3 feet away from me.  then an ear-splitting BANG! my automatic response was to close my eyes (of course.  that’s what we call reflex. haha)  the thought that came to mind was, “tangina, sana walang sasakyang/taong dumaan.”

i anticipated hearing/seeing someone badly hurt upon opening my eyes.  thank God no one was on the literally God-damned spot. haha.

after a minute the girl at the other bench looked at me.  she didn’t say a word, but she obviously wanted to scream,”can you fucking believe that?!!”

2. about a month ago, i discovered that i’ve started to night grind.  sorry if i told you about this already, it’s just that i discovered just now that my left canine is somewhat not a canine anymore.  shit.

3. crying like a baby until you almost self-mutilate IS scary for a 28 year old.  don’t you think?  coz we’re too old to be emo, mehn. too old.

4. i am emo.

5. i am 28 years old.

:(

:(

hay buhay,

putangina talaga.

ayoko na.  hindi ko na kaya.  tama na please.