super random shit

the problem with writing for a living is that you never really get to write.

of course that’s cliche, so everyone agrees.  correct or not?

———-

madalas, nitong mga nakaraang araw, gusto kong bulyawan ang boss ko nang, “tangina, hindi tayo matatapos nito kakabago ng isip mo, e.  puta tsong, gusto ko nang kumita!”

but then again, sabi nga nila sa Singlish, “that’s just play play, lor!”

———-

i had another thought earlier when i decided to click the “new post” button, but then i forgot what it was.  so in the end, everything i write now would really be just random blabber (again).

and yes, i am that old and ulyanin!

———-

i know.  i express myself better in Filipino.  but who reads this anyway?

may sasagot.  si chelly! hahahaha.

———-

i’m on my 7th month here in SG.  i haven’t gone home.  i never thought i’d last this long without seeing my family.    especially nina.

yesterday, as i rode the elevator to the 18th floor, i thought of her.  i saw their pictures in friendster, and she’s grown so much.  nakoo, dalaginding na din siya!!!  shet.

anyway, i realised that she’s my favorite and — yes, it’s wrong playing favorites, but she IS my favorite pamangkin and i don’t think anyone can do anything about it (bad ninang!!!).  maybe it’s because i got to take care of her more than my other pamangkins, and because she looks like me when i was little.  and she does remind me of me sometimes (coz we’re both maldita!)

i miss ninay.

———-

connected to the previous section (haha!)

it’s only when i got here that i realised;

- how much i love everyone i care for back home.  *yakap*

- how OC i am.  i never thought my case was that serious. i have this constant urge to clean up and organise.  i can’t keep still until i see things ‘clean’,

- i am an addict.  i cannot quit smoking (i’m actually in my, what, 8th/9th try of quitting? puta talaga).  i tried giving up coca cola too, but then the habit’s back.  min of 335mL/day.  tas putek, ngayon pati chocolate (hence the chabellitaness).  i don’t have f*cking discipline.

- also, i never thought that i can actually force myself to wake-up early in the morning just so i can eat breakfast (e hindi nga ko nagbebreakfast sa Manila e), and cook my baon (OO, BAON! never in my life did i bring baon. maski nung prep pa lang ako pera na baon ko, e).

- i really love walking aimlessly in urban jungles.  i do.  i really really do.  and i love the fact that this is a beautiful city to get lost into.  even if you get lost, you find yourself stumbling upon something beautiful, amusing and interesting.

———-

anyway, i would really want to be happy where i am. i’m not giving up until i enjoy and experience this adventure to the fullest (o ayan, a. parang sumpa na).

i hope in time, i’d find a job that i can love in this city.  i hope i’d find a ‘fuentes’ here.

seriously.

“hi sir edd!!! tayo kayo ng fuentes singapore!”

hahaha.

———-

ano pa ba?

ahh!!!

2 of my closest friends here are sick. and i mean really sick.  kawawa naman ang mga OFW, walang nag-aalaga.

i hope you both get well soon.  at sana hindi nyo ko mahawa dahil ok, kaya ko rin alagaan ang sarili ko, pero wala akong pera. hahahaha!

*hugs to you both*

-chabellita

hay buhay

bago ako magkwento ng tungkol sa kung ano, gusto ko muna kayong kumbinsihin na pumirma sa petition ng Philippines Cheaper Medicines Act dito.

sa totoo lang, nalinawan lang ako tungkol sa isyung ito nung nabasa ko sa blog ni idol, mikael co (ang link na yan ay papunta sa comment section ng mismong entry na nabasa ko, akyat ka na lang sa mismong entry). andami ko kasing ‘life challenges’ nitong nakaraan kaya ‘di ko iniintindi nung una kong narinig sa balita. e putek, direct hit pala ko nito, kasi drug dependent halos lahat kami sa pamilya, kaya natauhan talaga ako.

hindi naman kami mga adik, nagkataon lang na: ang ate ko, may hyperthyroidism; ako, may gastritis, Vitamin B-complex deficiency, at IDA; ang utol ko at pamangkin kong si cholo, may asthma (at araw-araw silang nagpa-puff ng mga anti-asthma chu nila); may tiyo ako sa side ng nanay ko na kaka-stroke lang (so, sandamakmak rin ang gamot niya); at nasa lahi namin ang diabetes. lahat ng tiyuhin ko sa side ng tatay ko meron… at di malabong magkaroon kaming magkakapatid ‘pag tanda namin.

mahirap magkaroon ng diabetes. alam ko dahil ang jowa ko dati (na kaibigan ko hanggang ngayon) ay diabetic din (mula nung 16 siya). sa loob ng higit 3 taon na magkasama kami sa isang bubong, witness ako sa araw-araw niyang pagtuturok ng insulin sa umaga’t gabi (at kailangan niya gawin ‘yon habambuhay). at dahil pag may diabetes ka, prone ka na sa kumplikasyon, madalas siyang ma-ospital dahil sa kidney infection (at hindi lang ito basta UTI). nung nakaraang taon din, na-diagnose si H with hypertension, kaya bukod sa mahal na insulin, may 3 gamot rin siyang iniinom everyday. dagdag mo pa diyan ang syringe (na P12 isa, at isang beses lang pwedeng gamitin), ang strips na nilalagay sa blood sugar meter, alcohol swabs, needle na pang prick at kung anu-ano pang kaputahan. lagi niyang sinasabi dati pag hirap kami sa pera, “minsan, gusto mong hintayin na mamatay na lang.”

maaaring hindi tayo pareho ng sitwasyon. siguro rin, hindi kasing pangit ng genes namin ang genes ng pamilya nyo o wala kang kilalang taong direk hit ng isyung ito, pero kailangan mo pa ba talagang maramdaman ang epekto ng mahal na gamot bago ka kumilos para sa ikabubuti ng masnakararami nating kababayan? tama si mikael, buhay ang pinag-uusapan dito .

punta kayo sa blog niya nang mabasa nyo ang malinaw niyang paliwanag tungkol sa Cheaper Medicines act. sabi nya rin dun, kung gusto ninyo ng FAQ pwede nyo siyang i-email.

kaya mehn, pirma na eto uli yung link para ‘di ka na umakyat.

———-

eto pa isang mabigat…

TANGINA!!! TULUNGAN NYO KO MAGHANAP NG BAHAY!

o ‘di kaya matchbox na pwede kong gawing home sweet home

mula nung lunes, naghahanap ako ng malilipatan dito sa Makati o Manila area. anak ng teteng naman kasi… ayoko nang i-kwento.

hindi naman sa masyado akong nag-iinarte, pero ang gusto ko kasi, mag-isa lang ako sa isang kwartong may banyo… sa halagang P3,500. o yan a… pucha!

ang hirap maghanap. kagabi nag-ikot na nga ko after work e… panay bedspace, ayoko nun. kasi:

1. hindi ako sanay ng may kasamang ibang tao sa kwarto. bukod sa lumaki ako nang mag-isa (halos) sa buhay. i never shared a room with anyone nung lumalaki ako. nun ngang mga unang pagkakataon na lumipat si H sa ‘min dati naloka ako, kasi magkaiba kami ng definition ng ‘order’… naloka ako nung, feeling ko, nawala ang personality ko sa kwarto ko

oo, alam ko, “wala ka ng pera… wag ka na maarte.” pero kasi, KUNG MAGBABAYAD AKO NG TITIRAHAN KO, SA KUMPORTABLE NA, DIBA? ayokong masiraan ng ulo. i’m adjusting to the fucking situation, kaya i don’t want to end up moving somewhere na araw-araw lang din akong mapa-praning o mabubwiset.

2. ayokong maging hassel sa iba. a) hindi ako nakakatulog ng walang ilaw b) hindi ako nakakatulog ng maaga c) hindi ako naniniwala sa curfew… sa bawal na ganito, bawal na ganyan d) at higit sa lahat, malakas ako magyosi.

3. ayokong ma-hassel ng iba. aminin mo, hindi lahat ng tao kaparehas mo sa definition ng maayos at malinis. ako malinis, pero dahil eclectic ako, mukha pa ring magulo. sa kwarto ko ngayon may maayos na kalat ng mga libro, mga notebook, mga ballpen at lapis, mga scrapbook, gitara, rainstick, mga nakahanger na pashmina, at iba pa… sabi ng ate ko madumi, pero hindi dahil lagi ako naglilinis.

at ang pinakamalaking porsyento ng dahilan kung bakit ayaw ko ng may kasamang iba ay ang respeto… lalo na sa gamit. magkakaiba rin tayo ng depenisyon ng respeto. may mga taong keri-keri ang hiraman… ako rin, pero libro’t cd’s lang ang go na go ako.

hindi ako mahilig magpahiram ng pantalon, t-shirt, pajama, panty at bra… yung bag pwede nating pag-usapan. hindi ako madamot. naniniwala lang ako na hindi ka dapat pumoporma kung hindi mo kaya. tama?

yon. kaya please, kung may alam ka namang room4rent, sabihan mo ko. salamat!

wuuuhhh-zzaaaahhhh!!!

i’m about to EXPLODE…

and though i still have tons of tasks waiting in line, i have to write this down NOW!

.

.

.

REALLY-HAVE-TO-LET-THIS-OUT-

.

.

.

I FEEL LIKE A GOODAMN PRESS RELEASE FACTORY!!!

 

 

—————-

i worked on 3 revisions and a draft yesterday.

when i got in this morning, i started with the draft… worked on 4 revisions… and i still have 2 more revisions to finish plus (ideally)  draft another one because it’s been with me for almost a week.

 

too much GRRRNESS!!!

 

 

have

to

stay

sane!!!

 

 

oh, let the words flow like fluid from my fingertips…

 

autumn

for the past week, i’ve been doing my best to quit (here’s a backgrounder).

kaya, ganito na lang karami ang nayosi ko…

.

.

.

.

.

yeah… i’m full of shit!

more than 10

i wasn’t able to live up to my goal of limiting myself to 10 sticks yesterday… BUT i managed to smoke only half of the usual number of suicide sticks i consume.

15.

considering that…

• i’m in a lot of stress
• did the laundry (i usually have yb’s after certain number of laundry batches…grabe!!!)
• and stayed up ’til 4am

i have a feeling that i’m on my way to being nicotine-free

PLUS!!! i didn’t smoke when i woke up or while sitting on the throne.

cheers!!!

you will wither and die at a young age…

yesterday, i smoked one and a half pack of Marlboro reds. i had 30 nicotine fixes in less than a 24 hour period… (i just realized this after buying another pack of 10’s this morning)

…and i’m not proud of it.

an officemate will help me start quitting, she’s quitting too. will do it gradually (as i am heavily addicted and may not survive cold turkey)…

———-

will limit myself to a max of 10 sticks today (had 4 already and its only 11am. shit!) … 5 the next day… 3 by thursday… 1 by friday. then nil by next week.

will limit myself.

will try to make ’spout’ my new bestfriend as i try to cope…

will not nail-bite…

will take it off my mind…

will control fidgetting.

.

.

.

.

.

all

this (quitting shit)

really

takes

is

…

kodakan sa San Juan

as promised by the webmaster-slash-kodaker Gino man… here are the pictures of our lifeless beach getaway

aldo, elany, gino, sugar, balot, holden… and paul.

(tsk!tsk!tsk! back-outers…tsk!tsk!tsk!)

 

first things first… breakfast!

 

then… the loooong and winding ride…

…the designated driver of the government vehicle

the lovers at the back

 

…holden and his crew ready for a riot

 

and obviously… Sugar was happier when she was beside me (BWAHAHAHA!!! kidding lang gino )

 

then we arrived!

 

ihaw time!

here’s Melrose Place

 

me and shugs at the Melrose pool…

 

the gang on the shores of the lifeless beach.

the helicopter

then the tambay…

 

 

then the day after…

more pictures!!!

of the girls,

 

the boys

the couples…

 

 

and single-blessedness …

one helluva great time!!!

 

to top it all of, one great ad copy…

‘ang serbis na mabilis makabuntis’

 

more pictures at gino’s gallery…check ‘em out!

 

-dL

back from reset

I just got back from a long vacation…well figuratively (coz I was here in the office last Monday, but I wasn’t really here…zombie mode).

Yesterday, I didn’t go to work coz I was so tired and sickly because after much planning, anticipation and deliberate disregard for those who backed out the last minute, the dasma gang ( me, holden, paul, sugar+gino = gang! Hahahaha) including a newly acquainted couple (gino’s long time friends aldo and elany) went off to a San Juan ‘summer’ getaway.

We started the day with breakfast at Tapa King by the highway at Turbina. Then we proceeded with the looooong-looong drive. We drove 3 hours south with Paul’s borrowed government vehicle (thank you millions of tax payers, thank you!!! Including us pala ) and amused ourselves with tons of ‘ginoisms’ used in a sentence. Before we neared the beaches of San Juan we stopped over this supplies/general merchandise store to buy coal, rice, water and other must-haves.

We really didn’t have any reservations before we went to San Juan (which is why some of the gangsters hesitated to join… ayaw pa aminin ang totoo). So when we got there, we went to Laiya Coco Grove hoping we’d get some fancy accommodations, but the thing cost so goddamn much!!! P2000+ per person… add to that each were required to avail of the 900 buffet chu, so when we told them we had food and just needed rooms for the night they referred us to their picnic area.

The picnic area offered this super panalo accommodation rates. P1500 overnight in their air-conditioned kubos, plus 330 entrance fee per person…so we got excited and ready to jump in the water, but when we checked the beach… we decided to trail of once more. There were cheese curls wrappers and debris everywhere! Hello?!!

So we went off in search for the panalo deal again… we decided to go straight to Kabayan Resort (owned by Noli “Kabayan” De Castro, shhhh!!! It’s supposed to be a secret… the resort where we originally planned to stay in) to try if they could accommodate us, inspite of their ‘exclusive-state’ with a real estate company. Unfortunately, they couldn’t…but the resort right next to theirs (well right after what’s next to theirs) Pahiyas had free rooms.

Our all time project manager, planner, and budget handler sugar negotiated with the resort manager and got us an air-conditioned room at the Madonna Inn for instead of P7K, 5K only (maybe it’s because its no longer the peak season). Anyway, it had a ref inside, could accommodate the 7 of us and what’s best about it is the pool in the middle of the Madonna Inn compound, giving it that Melrose Place ambience .

So we unpacked the back of Paul’s government owned Adventure, and put the food stuff by the table infront of the gates of MP. The boys then decided to take a dip in the MP pool trying to act like chauvinists leaving us girls chopping the greens, washing the grains and concocting the iced tea. Come ihaw time, we girls got the chance to take our turn of the dip . Then…

Gluttony.

Imagine 7 people consuming +/- 2K of liempo… ensaladang talong atbp.

After devouring tons of meat, we were all sleepy… Holden went ahead sleeping in the room. Paul followed him in a few minutes. But because we knew no one else should go to bed lest we prefer to sleep the whole time while in San Juan, we bought beers… and chugged a few.

We left out one of the most important aspects when we planned. We didn’t have a sound system, cards, scrabbles or whatever… Hence, back to ginoisms… pa-arte talking (check out sugar’s San Juan blog entry for this one) and porn site talk care of the webmaster former porn site designer gino.

It was already around 4pm when we all decided to go to the beach and get a taste of what we really went there for. But to our dismay… the beach was lifeless. Walang waves! And the water was too goddamn salty (maybe because there weren’t waves or it’s been years since i’ve been to the beach) my eyes needed a good two minutes to see clearly again after getting hit with water, and Paul who didn’t have a partner would be o.p.-ed. So after just a while of trying to enjoy the unhostile waters we went back to shore.

Holden had an allergic reaction with the seawater so we both went back to the pool…I practiced trying to sisid while he kept still under the falls (yes we had falls at the MP pool too…very shala!) to get the redness off his face. Then when his allergies subsided we joined the rest of the crew by the shore.

They had THE contest with skipping stones (wala na naman akong talent). we picked up stones… tried to find flat elongated ones, and tried to skip them…most amusing would obviously be the one who made the stone skip most.

Then sugar started to throw sand balls. Paul was the ultimate victim, with all the sand he had at his back which he barely noticed as the time passed. Sugar only stopped throwing them balls when I, after falling and almost drowning in the shallow waters shouted, “Get THE Life” (a ginoism) and she hysterically laughed, tumbled and let go of her freshly made sand ball.

We’re a just bunch of morons in the beach really… waiting for the stupid jologs to stop playing volleyball so that we can have our turn. But because they were selfish, it was almost night-time when they were done with their pathetic game…

There was no sunset to watch so we just again went back to our Melrose Place.

We had more fun in the pool than in the beach playing “sisirin ang limang piso”. We watched the boys race to get the P5 coin we strategically threw in the water (strategic, coz it didn’t make any sound…hahahah!). Purpose of the game was to determine who was going to prepare dinner. In the end elany was the one who got the coin most often (she wasn’t one of the contestants, but the boys did suck looking for the coveted coin every time and she had to get it for them…), but she still ended up cooking because no one else knew how to fry.

Dinner was a breeze considering the time and patience spent to prepare it. The boys started drinking beer when we were still making everything ready. So more ginoisms and pa-maarte talk went on until the ghost stories…

Waaaahhhh!!! I don’t want to think about them - stories anymore.

So, home we went the next day… not even nearly drunk. I don’t know what happened, we were all tired to stay up all night and drink gallons more. we all slept by 1130 or 12 (even after sugar and i shared our usual bottle of beer when everyone prepared for sleeping).

maybe the days were gone when we went to the beach, ate like pigs, got drunk like construction workers and swam til dawn

After the trip sugar and I had lunch together (like the usual weekday), and we realized that we could have done all that even if we didn’t go to San Juan. Our expectations were violated yet again, but not by the whole trip, just the beach

I could say we enjoyed the conversations more than the whole sun, sand and sea combined.

Thank god for wit and good sense of humor

 

Note: pictures daw tomorrow as per gino (tsk!)

H

holy smokes

you wake up… you smoke.

you take a dump before you shower… you smoke.

you ride the tryk… you smoke.

you wait for your bus ride to work… you smoke.

you walk from EDSA to your building… you smoke.

the clock strikes 10… you smoke.

before lunch… you smoke.

after lunch… you smoke. 3 sticks or less.

3pm is supposed to be a coffee break, but since you don’t drink coffee, again… you smoke.

after work, you walk to the bus terminal… you smoke.

you ride the tryk back home… you smoke.

after dinner, you smoke.

before you wash the dishes, you smoke.

when bored watching tv, you smoke.

before you sleep, you write something while smoking 3-5 more.

you smoke much more during the weekends, coz u scheduled your nicotine breaks before, after, and right in the middle of your chores.

you bond with your closest friends smoking (smoking was actually what made you friends in the first place).

you smoke an average of 15-25 sticks a day, and that’s about 150+ cigarettes per week, 560- 600 cigarettes per month. you started smoking when you were 17, which was almost ten years ago (i’m about to turn 27 this November)… that’s 67,200 + Marlboro reds…

the other night, he asked you once more, “what happened with the pack of cigarettes i bought yesterday? are you eating instead of smoking them now?”

“devoured like chocolate kisses,” you say.

then you start to wonder if you tasted like ashtray everytime you kissed. you think that maybe it’s what causes your back pain… maybe your lungs have turned completely black, and brittle… and now looks like a popped red plastic balloon- shriveled or burned longganisa.

then you try to convince yourself…

 

i have to start quitting soon.

 

 

 

 

 

boo-hoo!!!

i see red people…

i went down for a smoke around 3pm, and as i stood by the entrance of our office building i saw a man, a woman, a car and 3 motorcycles all in red.

i remembered something sugar said once when we were in people are people trying on shades… ‘i see red people’ (she had on this pair with soooper red tint). the mind could just be too clouded at times. mine was today…

from 9am til 3 i only got to finish one lousy revision, then i already had trouble focusing for the other things i had to do.

three of my friends told me about how tamad they are too…

is it the weather? the nearing weekend? or was it just us…

i gave up on surfing and sat still while the rest of the office pounded their keyboards when a thought suddenly popped in my head.

shet 430 n… ngayon pa lang ako magsisimula.

GARDONET!!!